What does a healthy relationship look like? Well, it’s less about how it looks and more about how it makes you FEEL. A healthy relationship makes you feel safe, heard, respected and loved. The healthiest relationships are built on trust and grounded in a mutual like for each other. Yep, you need to like your partner as well as love them!

Here are seven signs you’re in a healthy relationship…

1. Trust is a given

In a healthy relationship, trust means a whole lot more than not worrying where your partner is on a Saturday night. Trust is about knowing that your partner has your best interests at heart at all times. You trust that they wouldn’t hurt you emotionally or physically. You trust that they wouldn’t say anything to others that might undermine or betray you. You trust they’ve got your back when life gets tough. Trust is a given. It’s always there.

2. You enjoy separateness

Ever heard of the word ‘interdependent’? That’s when you’re in a committed partnership but you identify as a unique individual. You don’t believe your ‘other half’ ‘completes’ you or you feel in any way lost when they’re not around. You are a whole, separate person from the relationship who maintains her own identity. Your self-esteem doesn’t rely on your partner’s approval and you don’t define a healthy relationship by the amount of time spent together. There’s no forced or assumed togetherness and you are both equally okay with the other spending time outside the relationship with friends and family.

3. Light-hearted playfulness

If you’ve heard people gush they ‘married their best friend’ they are undoubtedly enjoying light-hearted playfulness within their relationships. We can love our partners but the healthiest relationships are built on a mutual like for each other. That means you’re friends. You’re amused and delighted by each other. You’re curious about your partner and how they approach the world. You feel comfortable and authentically yourself around them.

4. You don’t need to ask for respect

Respect is the backbone of a healthy relationship. If you’re always asking your partner to ‘Please respect my feelings’ or ‘Please respect my boundaries’ or ‘Show some respect for the way I do things’ you might not be in the healthiest relationship. Respect should be for each other not only as partners but also as individuals. You respect each other’s wishes and values. You shouldn’t need to ask.

5. Mutual problem solving

There’s no designated peacemaker in a healthy relationship. You both solve problems that arise and take equal ownership and responsibility. You sit down and calmly solve problems together with compassion and understanding. There’s no emphasis on just one person to ‘fix’ things. You both know you play a part in creating problems and prioritise solving them together.

6. Being a team player

You might be an individual but you’re on the same team. That means you have each other’s back. You know support will be there from your partner when you need it most. Being a team player means you’re both working on a common goal or getting to the ‘same page’. That might be in the big decisions – let’s move in together – and also the smaller decisions – let’s make plans for the weekend. You may not always agree but you’re working on building your life together, with equal passion and commitment.

7. You communicate honestly – and well

That means “fighting fair”. There is no blaming, name-calling or making assumptions on what your partner thinks or feels. In a healthy relationship your priority in a disagreement is to understand your partner’s point of view and calmly express your own. Communicating well also means talking about tough issues openly. Most of all, you both feel heard.

The greatest sign you’re in a healthy relationship is the lack of questions you have internally about it. There are no questions around if you’re happy, if it’s all worth it, how will you fix it, why you feel insecure or emotionally starved… There’s an EASE to it because both partner’s needs are being simultaneously met.

Ps; Finding a healthy relationship isn’t easy! That’s why I created The 5-Step Action Plan to Attract The Relationship You Deserve. It’s designed to help you get out of the cycle of sabotaging your relationships, boost your self-worth and bring in what you truly deserve. Download my FREE eBook here.

Header Photo by Priscilla du Preez on Unsplash